February 2nd - 8th

Just needed to get this out:

I've been avoiding posting because I really have felt like my days have contained nothing worthy of a post. I feel like I've taken a major step backwards in my life, a lot of old anxieties have come up. I've been angry, sad, stressed, lonely, shy, and avoiding things that need to be confronted.

There's someone in my life that I've been working at breaking contact with for the longest time, who I let manipulate me, again, for the one millionth time. And that person betrayed my trust, again, for the one millionth time.

I've been upset with a family member for not feeling like they support me. And I've avoided talking to them about it to keep the peace. So, nothing is resolved there, just put off for the time being.

I'm lonely because I avoid people in general. Even some people that I should feel very comfortable with.

Mostly, I just put on a happy face and put a nice shine on my life, and tell people how happy I am, even when I am anything but. Even here on my blog, where I should be able to be total honest. I don't want to look back on this in the future and think that this blog was just a cover, and not at all representative of my life. I'm sorry I've been that way.

If y'all could just keep me in your thoughts while I'm going through this I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for listening.